week three at site

Blog May 6, 2009

It is week three at my site, and although I am still struggling with a routine at home and at work, I feel like I am getting there. Today, I actually cooked two meals on the charcoal grill. Granted I used a cup of kerosene to get it all started, I still feel pretty proud that I was able to work a whole day and still find time to cook lunch and dinner. I am actually going to have three meals today, a fact that actually makes me very happy. I had been eating only twice a day, if not once a day in the past few days. I had also been inviting myself to my neighbors’ houses for free food. But I feel like I turned a page today. I actually soaked my pinto beans all night long. I had a cheese sandwich for breakfast, cooked some ramen noodles for lunch and put a pot of beans on the charcoal grill before I left for work in the afternoon. I let the beans cook all afternoon and hurried back to check on them after work, but not before buying my beloved avocados at the local market. The charcoal was dead so I had to start it all again. Tonight, I’m having pinto beans, rice, and avocado. I even boiled some water so I can have some hot tea or coffee tonight. I am going to eat very good today and enjoy every bite.

Because I am an American, I refuse to have a house servant like all of my co-workers. Granted if I had a houseworker, I would have hot meals two times a day, clean clothes and a clean house, but it goes against something inside of me to hire a house servant. Maybe I enjoy my privacy too much or my own way of doing things or maybe I value my computer and camera. Anyway, because of my stubbornness, I have been having trouble feeding myself the way I am accustomed and finding time to do everything I need to do. Many of my co-workers here complain about how bored they are and how they have nothing to do after work. For me, I wish I had three more hours after work, at least of daylight. I have so much to do (which explains why I am wasting time writing this blog instead of preparing lessons or studying kinyarwanda). Talking about my co-workers, they are part of an interesting dichotomy in my town. Most of the people here are the typical African villager, very poor, usually farmers, no water or electricity, and little access to education. But the other type of people in my town speak to me in English, have access to Internet, wear jeans, and tell me they like shows like the O.C. and One Tree Hill. It is so weird. Sometimes, I feel like I am in one of those small towns in America that happen to have a university. The university brings in the life, the youth and modernity. It is the same here; yet, instead of having an university, it has a new hospital. And the people who are so different from the villagers are those who work at the hospital, the doctors, pharmacists, and nurses. They are the university graduates from other parts of the country or from the Congo. Many of them have only been living here for a little while and most of them are young and have no families. So, in a way, they are newcomers like me. I find it comforting because in a way, they remind me of people my age back in the United States. It is a study in contradictions living here but it brings a little bit of home back to me.

Writing about this reminds me about a blog topic I had in mind, the differences in American and Rwandan culture. It is amazing how much you can learn about your own culture just by being in another. And it is also amazing how much you miss of the local culture when you just live with thirty-four other Americans for three months. Since being at my site, the differences have been magnified and, to be honest, I think I am starting to prefer some of the Rwandese customs over my own. Okay, like I said in my last blog, the hospitality here is amazing, over the top. When a person moves into the village, people come to welcome him, show where he can buy food, etc, introduce him to the local leaders, and invite him to visit them. Ever since I have been here, it has been that way. Amazing hospitality. And I really enjoy the custom of welcoming guests into the home. They always offer hot tea, fanta or beer and let the person stay for dinner if he wants to, no prior notice needed. Actually, you could probably stay for hours at a neighbor’s house and he wouldn’t care. At least, he wouldn’t say anything and he would invite you back again. I’m trying to imagine how it is in the States. For one thing, when someone moves into a new community, no one really goes out of their way to help that person integrate. If it is a small town, it might be a little different but it is nowhere near the welcome you will get here. If a person moves into a city in the States, good luck. No one cares what you do or how you do it. And visiting the homes in the United States is also different. It is rude not to give prior notice and it is weird visiting the home of a person you do not know well. Most people just go out to socialize. And you must never overstay your welcome at someone’s house.

One thing that Rwandans and Americans have in common is that they are private about their lives. You might think this unusual if you are accustomed to West African culture. A friend once told me that the only secrets West Africans keep are the ones they forget. It is very different in Rwanda. Although the people are very friendly, they won’t let you into their confidence right away. You need to earn their trust. Even though Rwandans are private, they are willing to help each other often, even if it means sacrificing their convenience and time. And to be honest, Americans are not like that. I am not saying that Americans do not like to help each other. They do but there is also this culture of independence and intense privacy that keeps other people away. They will try very hard to do something on their own before asking for help. And asking for help usually means one has failed and is not strong enough to do it on his own. And the issue of time. Oh, you know as well as I do how obsessed Americans are about time. Time is money, isn’t it? And if someone takes your time and you feel like you are not getting anything for it, it is so annoying. If it is not convenient for the schedule, then you will not go out with a co-worker to celebrate his birthday, you will not visit the grandmother at the nursing home or grab some lunch with the new neighbor. I’m not saying that all Americans are like that. I’m just saying that it has been my experience that Americans value their time and convenience highly, too highly sometimes. And you don’t even realize you are like that until you visit somewhere like Africa where people will actually turn back from a trip to town because you are going to visit them or where people will walk you to a place if you are lost instead of just giving verbal instructions.

Okay, I will stop bashing America. It is not all bad and hopefully, I’m showing them some good American traits. It is my culture after all and they will be living with it for a while. Let’s see how they react to living with a twenty-something American female for two years.